Yachiru's Obsession
by VermillionDevil
Summary: Curious on what little Yachiru's obsession is? Find out by reading. It will blow your socks off. Rated T for language.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach :D**

**Yeah this is a parody about Kenpachi's hair! XD!! ITS ONE SHOT!**

**Enjoy!!**

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Yachiru's Obsession

"KEN-TANNNNNNNNN!!~~" squealed Yachiru, as she leaped onto her captain's shoulder. She had the most cheery smile ever and it made her look absolutely adorable.

"Are yea headed to the captain's meeting?!"

Kenpachi chuckled and nodded to the pink haired child "Ah yes, Captain-General wanted everyone to report to the meeting immediately!"

"OKIE DOKIE, Then I will be off..!" She leapt off of his shoulder and headed to the left isle of their division.

Kenpachi darted off to the right, leaving the entrance of the Eleventh division. Instead of going the regular route, he decided to take a short-cut. Jumping on and off of buildings. It was probably the quickest way to the First division. As he finally came to the door, he stopped in his place.

"Zaraki Kenpachi entering." The door had opened itself, and Kenpachi stepped through. He walked in the halls and opened up the door.

His eye bugged from his head from complete shock. He had no unworldly idea of what was going on. Kenpachi held his mouth.

He could not hold it in. He was about to burst.

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_Late that night, everyone in the barracks was asleep, same with the lieutenants and the captains. One little prowler hopped from building to building, scoping out the separate housings. The ones that had the captains sleeping in. She quietly snuck into each individual room. It went through a sequence first was the First, then Second, Next Third and it continued on until she got to the last division, which was the Thirteenth. But she only entered the captain's rooms and nothing else._

_Early in the morning:_

_**First Division: **_**Genryuusai Shigekuni Yamamoto**__

_Yamamoto woke up and went to the bathroom. As he finished using the toilet, Yamamoto stood in front of the mirror and held his hands under the sink. Some odd reason, his beard was not pressed up against his chest like it would normally do. When he finished washing his hands, he took one good glimpse at the mirror. His perfectly groomed beard was now like Kenpachi's hair. All spiked up with little bells at the end of them._

"_WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"_

_**Second Division:**_**Soi Fon**

_As Yamamoto yelled very loudly, the sound startled Soi Fon. She immediately jumped out of her bed and bolted to her closet. She began rummaging through her closet for her Captains Haori. Her mirror hung from the inside of her closet. When she put her Haori, she turned to face the mirror to put on the yellow Obi. Her hair just like Kenpachi's only weird thing about it was the long strands that dangle that are wrapped, they looked more like antennas._

"_WHAT THE HELL-?!" _

_**Third Division: **_**Gin Ichimaru**

_Ichimaru was quite the sleeper, didn't hear the Captain-General or Soi Fon, but only hearing the sound of his alarm clock going off. He raised his hand and placed it among the beeping contraption. "Another mornin', another day," cooed the Kitsune as he propped his body up. He scratched the top of his head. "Eh…tis don't feel right… "_

_His silver hair that was once in the same style as Raito Yagami was now pulled upwards, only to be exposing his forehead. He tilted his head to the side and heard a small series of bells. A few sweat drops ran down his cheeks._

_**Fourth Division: **_** Retsu Unohana**

_The elegant woman gracefully pulled herself up out of bed. She walked to the bathroom and took one good look at the mirror. Her perfect beautiful face was now twisted. She grimaced her so-called 'new hair style.' The woman took hold a nearby flower pot and threw it very hard. It literally caused two holes in the building as it landed on the other side of the Fourth division barracks. Still at full force knocking Isane unconscious and then ricocheting off of her, knocking the very air out of Hanataro. _

_**Fifth Division: **_**Sousuke Aizen**

_Same as Ichimaru, he turned off his alarm clock. Aizen then pushed his square-framed glasses up against the bridge of his nose. Odd though. His messy, wavy hair wasn't in his face. Funny, his hair made a jingle. His soft happy expression became stoic. No words have yet to come out of his mouth._

_**Sixth Division:**_** Byakuya Kuchiki**

_Byakuya wakes up normally everyday. He starts out his daily routine. Wakes up, eats, goes into the bathroom to get ready and then gets dressed. He only completed one of those routines. Something didn't feel right about his hair. He basically went from a calm face to a very scary face. Even he wanted to punch a hole in a brick wall._

_**Seventh Division: **_**Sajin Komamura**

_Komamura's ears twitched back and forth. He was constantly hearing the sounds of bells. Why? He wasn't loosing it, was he? Komamura was quite old, but he wasn't going senile. Nope. Not at all. "Geez, my head itches…" His voice so deep. His hand rubbed against his fur. Yes, his hair was spikey, but when the nightly prowler began playing with his thick fur, she accidentally snatched a wad of hair from his head. Now he has a large bald spot. His fingers rubbed the bald spot._

"_GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"_

_His scream startling the others in his division._

_**Eighth Division: **_**Shunsui Kyouraku**

_He was a lazy, laid-back captain. Normally he was getting drunk with the booze he had in his shelves. Everything was hazy when he woke up. Kyouraku had no clue to what time it was and where in the hell he was? Not in the captain's quarters. Instead, he was sleeping outside, on the cold ground. His head throbbed. His head hurt too much to notice his hair all done up in spikes and bells._

_**Ninth Division: **_**Kaname Tousen**

_He was awaken. Slowly he steadied himself upwards. His hand felt about the ground, searching for his strange looking glasses. Funny he couldn't see what damage the prowler did to him. Oh yeah, it was an afro. More like how it used to look when he was in Kensei's squad. The bells were the last touch._

_**Tenth Division: **_**Toushiro Hitsugaya**

_Hitsugaya had been awake since the time Captain-General Yamamoto yelled to the top of his lungs. Already he seen the damage done up on his hair. It was spikey enough, but why in the style of Kenpachi's. Hell, he was more pissed off than Byakuya Kuchiki himself. All he was doing was staring into the mirror before him, listening to the loud laughter coming from Rangiku Matsumoto._

_**Twelfth Division:**_** Mayuri Kurotsuchi**__**(skipping Eleventh Division for a reason)**

"_Oh what a grand day to do some experiments, hmmm" he said in his sickly creepy voice. Kurotsuchi had just got out of bed and walked to the cabinet to start a small batch of tea. Nemu watched as her captain prepared early morning tea. But she wasn't really looking at what he was doing. Yes it was the top of his head. "What? What are you staring at, you fool?" Nemu placed a mirror in front of his face. In the center of where he normally wears his odd looking head gear at, the top of his head resembles a crown, except it's of his own hair. Yes, it's like Kenpachi's hair. "This is quite unusual. I don't recall putting my hair up. Not like this anyway. Hmmmm…" He walked away in a different direction and began to ponder by himself._

_**Thirteenth Division: **_**Juushirou Ukitake**

_The silver haired man got out of bed. He had been coughing for a while now. Hoping his condition doesn't worsen. Ukitake walked into the bathroom to wipe away the blood that was drizzling down his mouth. Before he splashed some water on his mouth, he went into shock. More blood came out his mouth. The way he was passed out on the floor almost seemed too funny. He jumped up quickly from where he was laying and rushed himself out of the room. Quickly putting on his Shinigami kimono. He ran out of his living quarters. _

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Oh no, he was laughing hard, tears literally came out his eyes.

"Oh God! Imma die from a friggin hernia! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" Kenpachi was on the ground, kicking the air. It was almost too childish for his taste.

All of the other Gotei 13 captains just watched him.

"Ehehe, what happened? Did'ja lose a bet?!" He continued laughing. Out of nowhere, Yachiru popped into the room with a giddy look on her face.

"KEN-TAN, KEN-TAN!" Yachiru hopped on his shoulder again.

"YA-Yachiru! What are you doing here?!" Kenpachi turned his attention to the small child.

"Look, look I named them!" She pointed to each individual.

"Grandpa Ken-tan," pointing to Yamamoto.

"Bumblebee Ken-tan," to Soi Fon.

"Foxy Ken-tan," to Ichimaru.

"Mommy Ken-tan," to Unohana.

"Four-eye dorky Ken-tan," to Aizen.

"Snobby Ken-tan," to Kuchiki.

"Puppy Ken-tan," to Komamura.

"Lazy drunk bum Ken-tan," to Kyouraku.

"Blind Ken-tan," to Tousen.

"Big meaner Ken-tan," to Hitsugaya.

"Creepy Ken-tan," to Kurotsuchi.

"And Sicky Icky Ken-tan," lastly Ukitake.

Nobody said anything at all. She named everyone, followed by the word 'Ken-tan.'

From that day on, everyone's pride vanished. Not a word spoken from any of the captains and Kenpachi was the only one laughing.

The End.

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**Um yeah…I think I got to creative…**

**-hides in fear of Yachiru's hair frenzy-**

**Yeah please R&R before she gets you…**

**o_o**


End file.
